Left, Right, and Centered

End-Of-Year Rant December 31, 2009

I’ve spent much of the last few weeks with a high fever, so this whole stream-of-consciousness thing is dependent on being conscious.  I’ve probably burned off even more layers of precious receding brain cells than usual over this siege, so any tendencies toward incoherence should be ascribed to illness, as opposed to congenital stupidity.  Ok, buckle up.

Cheney, Editorials Slam Obama’s Plane Terror Response – Gothamist

Yeah, right.  Obama is soft on terror.  This is the biggest crock of bullshit in the history of bulls.  Obama has troops flailing all over Afghanistan shooting at anything that moves, as if that’s going to somehow stop guys from boarding planes in Nigeria.  He’s got drones flying in swarms over places we can’t even pronounce, unleashing Hellfire missiles and thousand pound bombs laser-guided by geeks in Nevada bunkers to hit anything with a turban that moves.  Gitmo ain’t closed and “extraordinary rendition” isn’t just something you see on Broadway.  The Patriot Act remains in full force, the Constitution is wintering at a Columbian coca plantation, and some guy with glasses as thick as coke bottles and a proctologist’s sense of humor is probably recording my every keystroke in some NSA cubicle even as we speak.  So douche nozzles like Cheney and VDH won’t be happy until Obama sends some nuclear tipped cruise missiles into Sudan, and even then, they’d probably complain that there was insufficient megatonnage employed.

Rush Limbaugh Hospitalized: Taken To Hospital In Hawaii After Suffering Chest

I’d say that Rush Limbaugh having a heart attack was a physiological impossibility, since it requires having a heart, but that theory has long since been disproven by Dick Cheney, along with evolution.  Aside from that, Rush really ought to lay off the Viagra, Oxycontin, Cuban cigars, and fried butter sandwiches, but if he wants to take one for the team, who am I to stop him?

http://www.dakotavoice.com/2009/12/napolitanos-comments-were-taken-in-context-

 Napolitano is a moron, and this ought to be another argument against trotting out clueless department flacks every time there’s a national crisis.  Leave the PR to guys who know what the hell they are doing when the red light shines on the camera.  If you’re going to lie, evade, obfuscate, and divert, you ought to be a pro, and there are plenty available.  That being said, what the Homeland Security Secretary clearly meant in context was that the system did what it was supposed to do once the attempted bombing had already taken place, not beforehand, when clearly a bunch of incompetent fucks had their collective thumbs up their asses while a guy showed up at the ticket counter, bought a one-way ticket while chanting with a Koran in one hand, and did everything to clue us in but fill out a form listing “suicide bomber” as his employment.  That, as the president so aptly noted, was a “systemic failure”, but no more his fault or Napolitano’s than Bush’s or Clinton’s.  Eight years after 9/11 and the national left hand still can’t find the national right hand with both hands.  There’s no softness on terror.  There’s just stupidity on a hundred different levels. Try to find a cure for that if you can.

This is the picture that almost made my year.  It purportedly showed JFK lolling on the deck of a yacht surrounded by naked maidens frolicking in the sun, and it supposedly occurred before JFK was elected and while Jackie was pregnant.  The parallels with Tiger Woods and the half dozen other sex scandals of 2009 were just too delicious to ignore.  Sadly, the pic is a photoshopped hoax, actually lifted from a 1967 Playboy pictorial.  Not to worry.  The next political sex scandal is just one click of a cell phone camera away.

‘Coltsthink’ Spoils Indy’s Shot at History — NFL FanHouse

Last, but not least…WTF was Bill Polian thinking?  The Colts have sucked in the playoffs six times out of seven, and it didn’t matter a bucket of warm spit whether they were rested, tired, injured, hungry, drunk, psyched, or whether or not they’d been laid in the prior two weeks.  The Colts have been lucky as often as they’ve been good throughout the winning streak.  So if there’s a better than even chance that you’re going to go one and done in the playoffs anyway, why not at least make a grab at history?  What’s the worst that could happen?  Peyton Manning gets hurt?  Not very damned likely.  His offensive linemen would sooner sacrifice a testicle than see him get sacked, and every ref in the league blows the whistle if they even see a defensive end walk through Manning’s shadow.  Now we’ll never know.

That’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it.

BW