Left, Right, and Centered

Cheney, the cheerleader-in-chief for the whole “a little torture never hurt anybody” crowd, has had his ugly mug all over the media this weekend, not quite crowding out the liberal lion of the Senate, but on the other hand, Cheney never drove an innocent girl off a bridge.  Sure, he might have the blood of several hundred thousand other innocents on his hands, but who’s counting?  But I digress.  Cheney is just shocked, shocked and offendedthat the attorney general is going to investigate anyone for torturing prisoners held in American custody.  To hear Cheney tell it, torture is even more American than apple pie.  Hell, we even gave some of the guilty terrorizing rag-head bastards a slice of apple pie in between bouts of waterboarding, walling, freezing, and sleep deprivation.  We’re not animals, for god sakes.  Cheney’s latest bit of bizarre historical revisionism and self-aggrandizement came during a hard-hitting interview with FOX News’ Chris Wallace, where Wallace bombarded him with probing questions like, “Wouldn’t you agree that that terrorist-loving pussy Obama is leading this great nation right to the brink of a Muslim overthrow?” (Ok, I made that up, but I’m only just slightly paraphrasing.)

Wallace and Cheney needn’t have worried overmuch.  Eric Holder may initiate an investigation, and a few poor sap CIA enforcers might have to be thrown to any surviving Michael Vick pit bulls just to mollify naive lefty pacifist nancy-boys like me, but the hard work of wringing valuable intelligence out of guilty-until-proven-innocent known baby-killers and terrorist thugs goes on unabated.  Obama may have promised to close Guantanamo, but nobody has pulled up the moving vans or put up the “for sale” signs just yet.  He said there will be no more torture while he’s president, but he didn’t mention the fine print.  For selected bad guys, they’ll still undergo “rendition” to places like Egypt and Syria.  If they lose a few fingernails or toes over there, we can hardly be held responsible.  The more things change, the more they remain the same.

BW